Sprite should come with a warning label...

So, Jasen and I have been noticing a MARKED difference in Roman when he has Sprite.  He only gets it when we go out to dinner or somewhere special.  Otherwise, it's milk or juice or water if he's REALLY desperate.  I already know the kid can't handle his caffeine, so there is only the once in a blue moon sip of tea or coke. 

Sunday we took Roman to see Captain America...ok, I really wanted to see it too...let me rephrase, we went as a family to see Captain America.  Popcorn is always a fun must at the "movie feater" and with my little rewards card, I got a free small drink.  So Roman got his own little Sprite, while Jasen and I shared a grown up beverage...coke zero.  (It being a grownup beverage due to the caffeine.)  I could see that the Sprite was disappearing quickly and a trip to the bathroom was inevitable.  I wasn't surprised when it came...twice.

**I do need mention that earlier that day, I'd let Roman try his hand at painting my toes.  He had been DYING to do it, as all the little girls in his class routinely get painted nails by their teacher. . .so I wore flip flops, not really thinking about it, and went to the theater with one foot painted by me, and the other by Roman.  OH and I also salted his head when I sprinkled the popcorn because the lid was on wonkey, and this couple TOTALLY saw me do it and was giggling, and it was cute, ahem, but super embarrassing  I was starting a deficit, just so you get the entire picture**

(not bad for a left handed first time boy nail painter!)

On the second trip, we went into the bathroom, and the stalls quickly filled around us.  Roman and I are chatting, I can hear women around us give the "Oh isn't he so cute" giggle and sigh and all of the sudden, all noises around us stop, and Roman decides to say "Momma, I'm gonna punch you in the face".  Queue 3 year old evil laugh, lady next to me gasping, lady washing her hands saying "oh my!" then the toilets flushing, hand dryer going, lots of throat clearing TOTALLY drowning out my reprimand and redirection.  I seriously almost fell out in the floor.  GRRRR Darn you sprite and super hero "violence" and testosterone! 

I walked out of the stall, NO ONE would meet my eyes.  It was mor-ti-fying.  In a matter of seconds I turn from the mom with the cute little rambunctious boy to the child beater.  I couldn't get out of that bathroom fast enough!  As we walked to back to our theater and seats, I gave him a stern lecture about, not going to the potty again during the movie, sitting still, obeying, and I don't want to hear another word out of him until after the movie.  "mmmhmmm" was his answer, and I quickly corrected with a "Yes ma'am" as only an embarrassed and annoyed mother of a 3 year old running to keep up behind her can.  A young guy walking the other way laughed and said, "I can remember my mother making me say that all the time!"  I kinda took that as God's little giggling nudge to say, "It's ok, you're doing a good job" Lord, I hope that's what You were saying.

So the next time, you see a crying child and a haggard or really pissed off mom, or a mom standing with a buggy full of groceries in Publix with her toddler's nose in a random corner, or hear a kid say they are gonna punch their mom in the face...PLEASE don't immediately think, "Oh my gosh, poor kid!  I wonder if I should call child services"  Instead, think, "That poor mom, raising a little human who can talk back is so hard!"  Then please, give her an indulgent "it's gonna be ok" smile, heck, if it's me, you can even hug me!  We mom's need a little grace and compassion.  It's not easy righting wrongs, raising the next generation, walking the tight rope of wanting to beat the tar out of this child and loving them so much it hurts, and disciplining them when it's really hard or embarrassing because it's the right thing to do.  Not everything that comes out of their mouth is cute, but just because it sounds shocking and DHS call worthy, it doesn't mean that they hear it at home...it could just be the Sprite talking.

God help me raise this child!

Clutter

It's a problem.  Back in February, my husband surprised me with a garage re-do that he started while I was out of town on business.  It was amazing, and spontaneous, and needed, and appreciated...and not finished.  The guy who is doing it for us does it on the side because he enjoys doing it in his spare time.  Lately his spare time has been hard to come by and so my garage has continued to reside in my living room.  Which makes me b-line upstairs, where there is more clutter because I'm so overwhelmed, so I just withdraw into myself and knit and play with Roman until it’s time for bed (yeah, and we do eat at some point).

This is a small snap shot of my pantry and assorted items in my living room...I TOTALLY felt like a hoarder!  It was a terrible and dirty feeling, but I felt like I couldn't do anything about it, so I kept pushing through. 

Here is a picture of the garage in process...we have over head storage, a closed in pantry, an enclosed hot water heater, a place for the freeze, and a work bench with extra storage coming...but the process IS KILLING ME.

I've been working on some storage in my home, but what was becoming more and more apparent was that there was TOO MUCH CLUTTER.  We had too many possessions because we weren't letting go of things.  Just in case you don't know me well, let me tell you something, I LURVE to be prepared...did ya read about my couponing?  I love to have the answer, the perfect container for something, the ingredients for a recipe without going to the store; I want to have what someone needs before they know that need it.  Yeah, I also wish I was clairvoyant; it would help.

Well, I've been doing a lot of emotional, mental, and spiritual house cleaning too.  Over the past two years, I've been battling depression.  I lost a baby in June of 2009. . .it seems like eons ago and yet just a couple of months all in the same breath.  Since then, life has really tackled me, pinned me down, given me a nuggie and then dragged me to the bathroom for a swirly.  It's been hard.  A full time stressful job, a baby turning into a FULL TIME toddler, a husband, a husband in school, a husband who's a police officer with odd hours (all the same man mind you), grieving my loss, and still living.  There are SO many women in my same position.  To cope, I poured myself into my family, eating, and shopping, all of which soothed my broken soul. 

I accumulated a lot of stuff.  In my house and in my heart.  My sewing room was claustrophobic.  I had so much fabric that I had bought for my business or for this craft or that, that I couldn't sew it up in a million years...I was so paralyzed when I went in there that I just didn't sew at all.  My living room, I covered.  Roman's room, had so many toys that he couldn't find what he wanted to play with and I would end up having to find it for him.  We recently transitioned him to a queen size bed and it additionally cut into his space.  My bedroom had basket after basket of clean clothes for Jasen to put up (that's his job :), that lived in baskets because we had so many clothes, many of which we didn't even wear, there wasn't room for the ones we DID wear to go.  My guest room closet had decorations for holidays, boxes and boxes of memories ready to be scrapbooked, pillows, some ugly clothes, and all sorts of randomness. . .and on top of EVERYTHING was an unhealthy layer of dust, great for people with allergies, ya know. 

Because I haven't purged what we didn't use, it was just piling up on top of us, and I felt like it was smothering me.  I felt ashamed and guilty because I am a working mother and don't have time to be the housewife I want to be and additionally guilty and ashamed because in the few hours that I did have to be a housewife, I would rather just run away because my task was insurmountable.  I can't even describe the feelings that would course through me.

Here is the thing, the old me, about 3-4 years ago, though I still had a lot of stuff, I would just get fed up with it, go through it, chunk it, organize it, clean it like a maniac, and then it would be better and I would keep living.  The present me, it just further made me sad, feel bad, guilty, depressed, and because I didn't want to give into these feelings I just ignored them and the clutter and poured myself into my family.  All the while not only ignoring the mess, I ignored myself as well.  Well, I finally got fed up enough that I started throwing away some things but got overwhelmed so quickly.  God heard the cry of my heart that I couldn't even put to words.  An amazing friend that He placed in my life gave me a call.  She said that she and her mother had a proposition, and all I had to do was accept and agree to participate.  I had NO idea what she was talking about so I said, spill it. . .they wanted to come to my house and help me de-clutter and organize so I could get my life functioning again.  I could only be silent in disbelief as I cried.  It was exactly what my heart and soul were crying out for, and I couldn't even ask for the help I needed.  But God heard my need and he sent me the aid I needed.  She said that she and her mom just wanted to be a blessing to me.  How humbling.  How amazing.  I couldn't believe that they wanted to do this for ME.  The funny thing is that I would do this in a HEART BEAT for her or any one of my other friends, but the fact that someone wants to do this for ME was almost incomprehensible.  Isn't that how Grace works?

SUPER SUPER long story just a bit shorter, they came, ready to work.  I was nervous and excited all at once.  I totally felt that I was about to live a recent episode of Hoarders I'd seen where a woman had to go "scream it out" in her car.  But it was AMAZING.  Giving those things up that had been a comfort when I bought them wasn't hard, in fact it was exhilarating and freeing.  My sewing room has become a beautiful haven, my closet actually has clothes in it THAT I WEAR!  Roman's room is a little boy's room, and he can find his toys.  I can actually look at craft blogs and not feel smothered by other's creativity that I can't execute...I can actually get inspired and then GO CREATE. 

It was an amazing gift that my friend and her mother gave.  It lightened my house, it lightened my soul, and mind.  It brought to light some baggage that I've been carrying around that I need to rid myself of as well.  It's so hard to not be self-flagellating during this process.  Holding on to things is what I was taught.  My mom still has fabric from when I was a kid; my dad has SHEDS full of things, just in case. . .I come by it honestly, love you both. . .I can't punish myself for not doing things I didn't know about or wasn't taught.  I HATE learning things at 29 that I wish I'd known at 7, but that's life.  Life is one huge lesson.  I'm trying to learn through this, that it doesn't matter WHEN you learn the lessons just that you DO learn them.  And one of the biggest that this experience has taught me, I need to embrace God's Grace for me, give myself that grace, then let go and give my stuff to Goodwill and give my burdens to God.  The last part rings kind of hollow for me as I type it. . .because I realize that I'm still holding on to a lot, but day by day, I'm trying to let it go.

I MET SANTA!!! God bless him!

There has been so much going on in my life and home recently.  There will be posts coming on that soon, but suffice to say, my life and possessions are on a diet.  My house is on a diet.  My body is...well...I'm working on that.

As a kid I remember how much I enjoyed playing and pretending with my toys.  Roman has a vivid imagination and has that same joy.  He also has an INCREDIBLE amount of toys and an amazing little mind for inventory.  I really TRY not to buy a whole lot, but dang it, it's just really fun to do it.  I have taught him the joys of window shopping, and we can walk into Target, spend 20 minutes in the toy aisle and walk out without anything and no tantrums, so I feel we're doing ok.

Well our toy situation (among other things) has gotten out of control.  We've had several conversations over the months about thinning it out and giving toys to kids who don't have as much and have even put a stop to all toy buying because we just have so many.  Last night, we bit the bullet.  On the way home from school, I told Roman it was time; we were going to clean out his toys and give the ones he didn't want or didn't play with to kids who don't have as much as we do.  His answer?  "But Mommy, we NEED to keep them ALLLL" in a slightly whiny I don't really understand why you're doing this to me voice of a 3 year old.  I told him that Santa was coming at Christmas, and we need to thin out if he wants him to come; what about kids who's families don't have as much as we do...etc, etc, etc....

We got home, and I have to say, I'm SO proud and impressed by this sweet little boy...we donated an ENTIRE GARBAGE BAG full of toys, and I'm not talking about big toys...I'm talking about the little tiny make you cuss when you step on them in the dark toys.  He was thoughtful, decisive, and unwavering when he made a decision.  Did me proud!

And just where does meeting Santa come into this, you're asking?  I'm getting there.  So I went to Hobby Lobby at lunch for more fabric for Roman's curtains (don't ask I'm still annoyed), as I was coming out, there was this HUGE red truck with a bumper sticker that read "My other car is a sleigh, pulled by reindeer" (I wish I'd gotten a picture), I giggled and kept walking as this delightfully jolly man, dressed all in red (red shorts and red t-shirt with a red cap) got out of the truck.  I got in my car and pulled away as his wife (Mrs. Clause I assume) walked to Hobby Lobby and Santa walked toward Goodwill next door.  All of the sudden, I froze, what was I thinking, letting Santa get away?!!  I whipped around, parked, jumped out of my car, and sprinted toward Santa, yelling "Um, excuse me, um, Santa?!"  I mean, that was defiantly a first...

Delightful Santa agreed to a picture, and the sweet little lady behind the Goodwill counter took it for us.  I hugged Santa tight.  Told him my little boy had JUST been asking about him...Santa asked me how old he was and gave me a little token that said "I was caught being good".  He told me to tell Roman that he was checking in on him, and saw that he was being good.  So he came and found me to give him that token, and to keep up the good work.  I almost knocked Santa down with the exuberance of my hug and thanked him with, I won't lie, a little tear in my eye.

God bless this man, who has a for real white beard in the Tennessee summer, walking around in Santa clothes, with an honest to goodness embroidered sleigh and reindeer on the back of his red shorts (wish I had a picture of that too)!  God bless this man, who gave me the spirit of Christmas and giving in July and made the purging of my house so much more of a blessing by giving to an organization like Goodwill that supports so many others.  For reminding me of the kindness and love of Jesus and taking care of other people and to share that spirit of loving and giving year round. 

Talkin' about tools...and other things.

So, we're all parents here right?  Give or take?  Well you know how you have to MAKE time to actually be a husband and wife sometimes when you have a small child, or a child at all, or more than that?  Seduction sometimes turns into an episode of Spiderman, some eyebrow raising (like, "hey, baby, hubba, hubba?") and then sneaking off to your room.  Where you barricade your door that doesn't really lock with a huge basket of laundry you haven't put up yet.  Ahem...if this sounds familiar, you're not alone. 

This is what we have been reduce to with our 3 year old.  When we here him thunderfooting down the hallway, the jiggle of the door knob, feel the blind panic of not scaring him the rest of his life, or explaining what we're doing, we shout, "Roman, go watch your movie (play, draw, read, stare at the wall...just fill in the blank here ___), Mommy and Daddy are talking.  Most recently, he has gotten the message.  A discreet knock came at our door, after the initial knob jiggling..."Mommy!?  Are you and Daddy talking?"  "Yes, go play; I'll be out in a minute"

After some annoyed huffing he went on about his business and returned to our room a bit later when the door was re-opened...and this was the conversation that followed.

Roman:  "Mommy, what were you and Daddy talkin' about?"
Me:  "Mommy and daddy stuff"
Roman:  "Why?"
Me:  "Well there are some things that Mommy and Daddy need to talk about in private without a little boy around"
Roman:  "Oh, well, what were you talkin' about?"...he thought for a second, as I was scrambling for more nondescript details to tell him to satisfy his curiosity without out and out lying..."Were ya talkin' about tools?"
Me:  Biting my lip, "Yeah, sorta"
Roman:  "Were ya talkin' about flashlights and other tools?  Does Daddy have a flashlight?"
Me:  "Um, yeah I guess you could say that...."


Thankfully that satisfied him and I was saved from further discussion about our tools conversation by the Spiderman theme song.  God bless Spiderman.

It's been a minute....

I'm back from my long absence.  I needed a bit of a break from life, if not painfully obvious from my last post :).  Lots of "extended" family turmoil that was depleting, sad, and just plain not my responsibility has been very decidedly and forcefully "put away" and bound up by a firm boundary.  That I daily pray stays put; dang but boundaries are hard.  Seriously, if I had learned or retained half of what I'm learning through therapy and just TALKING about things and hearing the validation, things would be so different now.  But, I suppose, that is our journey. 

I as a human am a walking paradox.  I HATE learning by doing and failing and then doing it again.  I would SO much rather someone show me how to DO something the right way so when I try it, I can execute to it perfectly, the first time.  However, in living, though I hate failing, growing up (and even now sometimes), you couldn't tell me anything.  As I've grown into an adult I've learned to discern those in my life who love me for me and have my best interst in heart, and gravitate toward them.  To them, I listen.  From them I learn.  And growing, I've become somewhat ok with making a mistake and learning from it.  I'm an imperfect person, living in an imperfect world, saved by an amazing, gracious and perfect God.  It's a daily lesson.

The Red E

Things have been crazy in my life lately.  After my business trip and coming home with the flu and bronchitis...things went to crap.  It took FOREVER to feel better, my house fell apart, my husband had started a surprise garage redo while I was gone, I had a product launch at work (never ending nightmare), a Spring Market event at a local Y, a huge order from one of my shops, and then a staggering feeling of slowly sinking in quicksand while there was a flood about to drown me.  Do you ever feel that way?

I'm currently running on empty.  I've poured myself out and can't quite get refilled past the red E.  My soul, my body, my heart, my creativity....empty

This isn't a post to be poor little ole me, it's just frank honesty.  It's letting you women out there know...you're not alone.  You can have a husband and friends and even kids and still feel like you're going it alone.  You don't even have to have a husband and kids to feel like this.  I keep hanging on to Isaiah 40:30-31

Even youths shall faint and be weary,
   and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
   they shall walk and not faint.

I've resolved to take more time for myself...more like I've been assigned to...you know whatever it takes.  I deliberately laid down for a bit after work the other day before I went to get my son (granted I was mad and it wasn't as relaxing as I wanted, but I laid down for myself dang it), I went yard saleing in my subdivision with my friend Kelly and our kids for like 3 hrs on Saturday, I have been knitting on my shawl, I've been "forcing" my son to sleep in his bed (Lordy I just need some space). 

I have work to do on myself, and though it's my heart to pour myself out for others...there does come a point when you have nothing left to give when you don't take time for yourself.

So if you're feeling like me, your assignment, deliberately be kind to yourself.  And it's ok if your first thought was that you might lock yourself in a closet for 20 minutes and count that a kindness...that was my first thought too!  Women weren't meant to be completely self sustaining...every one grows weary....be kind to yourself, don't be harsh, and gather your strength from God, because He doesn't have a red E.

So where do I find these good deals???

I know it seems like it has been ages since my last post.  I think I'm coming back to the land of the living and functioning from having the flu and bronchitis.  Two things I NEVER want to have again in my life!  My house has not yet recovered, my laundry is sadly behind, my dishwasher hasn't quite caught up, and there is chocolate milk on my sheets (it looks disturbingly like poop, just in case you wondered...thanks Roman) but I haven't stopped couponing!

This past week, my bill would have been $311...EEK!  We walked out spending only $120 out of pocket!  Once I subtracted taxes and the produce and milk, for which I didn't have coupons, I only spent $66!  Talk about an exciting trip.  I was, however, sweating and snapping at Jasen in the checkout line...he was in my way, ok?!  I analyzed my perspiration and snarkiness afterwards over lunch and realized that though I know I'm going to save A TON of money, I'm not the couponer who knows what I will be spending before the cashier tells me.  It's kinda like playing the lottery for me. . .I'm nervous about hitting the jackpot and how big...or little it will be.  But, thankfully, this is about the only stressful part.  So don't fret if you overspend...I have a secret...grocery stores take returns!!  You might want to wear a baseball hat and dark sunglasses because it is kinda embarrassing to be returning 15 cans of chicken broth because you went a little overboard...been there and done that, but they take it back...so stop stressing, ok?

So down to the good stuff...Here are my favorite sites that I routinely read for coupons, tips, sales, and ideas.  Each one has their own great thing, but at the risk of another huge post and no pictures...I'll try to keep it short :)

Couponing to Disney:  This site is great, she gives great sale notifications, as well as shows you how to always be getting samples or coupons in your mailbox.  All of her savings go toward their trips to Disney for their family.  She's pretty amazing.  She has great explanations and stories.  She also has a section on how much they are saving by not eating out as well as getting skinny for their next trip!
Southern Savers:  This is the site that I LURVE. . .she takes the weekly grocery store sales and makes them into printable shipping lists...as though that wasn't enough, she links ALL the printable coupons and where they appeared in the circulars, right there in the list for you!  All you have to do is click and print.  That is MY kind of site.  She also posts about great sales for all kinds of things too.  I really like her tutorials on how to get started and this is where I would point you if you need some step by step directions.
Money Saving Mom:  She is really good not only linking sales, but great with ideas and how to incorporate your family into your savings as well as teach your children about it.  She also has some AMAZING recipies and meal plans too!
The Thrifty Mama:  She links sales and coupons and has lots of natural and green ideas and sales links as well.
Deal Seeking Mom:  Great deals and commentaries
I Heart Publix:  A great resource for Publix deals and information.  They post a lot of things that you may find useful if you have Publix near by.
Totally Target:  This site is great...everything about Target and has a weekly list of things that are $1 and under!

Truly...these are the ONLY places that I get my sales and coupons...there are some of you are hyperventilating and others who are thinking "that's not that bad" You don't have to do them all!  A lot of them post the same sales but have different concentrations on their sites. . .find the ones that fit your personality for scoping out sales in general, but I recommend Southern Savers hands down for grocery store couponing...I haven't found a better place for making your grocery store list for sales.

Stay tuned for the next post "To have a Freezer or not have a Freezer...that is the question"  In the mean time, rock your own style for couponing and take it one step at a time. . .if you get overwhelmed, take a step back, you will get the hang of it and find the right balance for your family!

Yes, I'm still alive and blogging!

Hey all, I'm so sorry for being MIA as of late...I went out of town to Las Vegas for a business trip...whoo hooo...however, instead of coming back with the planned 50k, I returned with the flu and bronchitis.  Yeah, not my preferred souvenir for sure.

I have lots of stuff to post, especially about couponing, since that has been a hot topic.  I will get it up as soon as I can!

XOXO

Manifesto Part Two....

Ok, so I'm confessing...I got a wave of butterflies when I brought this up to pen a new post...I had 58 views on my little ole blog yesterday and picked up one new follower.  Totally a humbling experience.  I have several blogs that I follow and they talk about how they love their readers, and comments totally make their day, blah, blah, blah...I rolled my eyes until today.  Ahem, so thank you all so much for coming by, even if you just read it once, it means a lot to me and is so humbling...in a weird and very showing up for your final in your underwear kind of way.

So a couple of clarifications...

• I want to reiterate that I don't personally go and pull all the ads for grocery stores etc...I rely upon my hero from Southern Savers to do that. 
• I DO subscribe to the Sunday paper. 
• You are generally limited to two prints per coupon online.  Don't let that stop you from clicking on every link to see if you can print more.  All they can do is say no.
• The rule above applies to per IP address...basically meaning per computer.  If there is something that is a really good sale or I really want a lot of, I may or may not print my limit on my computer and my husbands...just sayin'...
• Obviously storage is VERY important.  My pantry is laughably tiny.  Thankfully we have this little space under our stairs in the garage where this shelving fits perfectly and we house the family grocery store. 

Now on to the logistics...I'm ALWAYS very interested in finding out EXACTLY how someone does something successful...EXACTLY.  So I don't want to overwhelm you but you're about to get a lot of information.

How do you keep track of coupons?

1. Coupon Binder was my first foray into coupon organization.  A large three ring binder, baseball card holders, and dividers.  Here is a link to an example that links you to this example so you can see both women's inputs.  I liked it because I could see everything, but I HATED folding my coupons, running out of space, and if it got turned over they fell out everywhere.
2. You can also use the Coupon Binder method above, but NOT clip your coupons out of the coupon booklets until you need them.  You can just date the front of the flier and file it for use when you need it.  I did this method for a while, but found that it got messy, I got lazy, and it ended up not being very organized for me.
3. I have recently started with My Coupon Keeper and I have to say I love it.  So you can do this method with anything you want...I've seen it done with shoe boxes, accordion files, and index card holders...I chose to pay for this one because, as you can see, I've been through many iterations of organization.  I liked that this one has very durable materials, it is wide enough to accommodate larger coupons (like the ones from online) without folding them, you can reorganize your filing system on the fly, it already employed the folder system for shopping so I kinda felt on the same wave length with the creator (and the folder is little too).

How do you decide what coupons to clip and what not to?

• From the Sunday paper, I clip pretty much everything, with my new system.  With the exception of animal food and refrigerated coffee creamer (though I'm kicking myself because it's on sale and would be just a few cents...but I DON'T NEED IT and don't have anyone to give it to...see how this gets out of control?) I clip it all.  There is the possibility that I might buy it if the price is right and the coupons are there and it's on sale.  There is no wasted effort with a snip or two more of the scissors and to file it away. . .and I KNOW I have it if I see the opportunity.
• Web Coupons...I usually only print the ones that are matched up in the ads.  I often will run across things that I buy with frequency and print those too so I already have them.

Where all do you shop?

•  I really only shop at Publix.  Mainly because I don't have time to go to the other places.  They carry out my groceries, smile, I understand their sales, and weirdly, they are brightly lit (I know, who puts that in their requirements for a grocery store...)
• Jasen totally prefers Kroger and has done well on his couponing adventures...don't tell him I just posted that for the world to see, please!  :)
• I REALLY want to take the next step and start going to Rite Aid or Walgreens because I've seen some bloggers post some amazing deals they have gotten there and have spent little or nothing or even MADE money.
• I tried to start taking advantage of Target deals, but I very much had an epic FAIL at my first attempt.  I spent way more money than I'd anticipated, ended up returning most of my stuff (I know, it WAS kind of embarrassing) and didn't get as much money back as I'd expected.  I have more studying to do. . .and don't be put off by my experience.  I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes with these things just because of how I think about them...and I'm sure my expectations are WAY off too :)

Ok, that is a lot of information for this post...what questions do you have? 

Couponing Manifesto

I recently posted on Facebook about some amazing grocery savings I had and received lots of questions about it.  A light went off in my head, after my epic response disappeared, that I should format it into a blog post!  Tada!  Not only am I sharing my experience I have simultaneously roped you unsuspecting readers into navigating to my brand new baby blog for some cursory oohs and ahhhs. . .muahahahaha.  Ahem. . .So now on to why you're really here. . .a couponing best practice sharing!

So I have always suffered from sever buyers remorse, even at the grocery store.  When I was newly married I would come home crying because I felt like I had spent too much money at the grocery store...poor Jasen.  Probably about 2 years ago, I was shopping at Kroger and saw a lady with this HUGE binder checking out and she handed the cashier a stack of coupons, and I watched in awe as her enormous total (that had made me break out in hives) dwindle to hardly anything.  I checked out as quickly as I could, and I'm not ashamed to say, I stalked that lady down in the parking lot!  I gave her my information and asked her to contact me because I would like to learn more; I felt like in light of the whole parking lot stalking she might feel safer in control of that exchange, because at this point I wanted to follow her home and make her my guru).  Thankfully she emailed me and shared some of her secrets.  Shortly after, I saw a friend's FB post on her couponing and I was hooked.  I'm a TOTAL sucker for a deal and for saving money.  If there was a sash and some badges I could put on there and wear around, I totally would. 

You don't have to invest in anything super crazy to get started, because you can quickly over complicate a very easy thing (I have an amazing talent for doing just that).  I started with a binder and some baseball card holder things (clear plastic page protectors)...there are several other methods of organization, and I'm currently on to a different one, but we can talk about that later.  I would say the BEST first stop is www.southernsavers.com.  She is amazing.  On the top of her page she has a tab that is labeled "Learn to Coupon".  She walks you through step by step what to do.  The REALLY beauty of her site, to me, is that she takes the circulars and sales for the grocery stores each week (Publix, Kroger, Walmart, and Target are the main ones) and lists everything out, tells you what coupons are available from the paper and what the date was and which circular, then she also links you to the ones available online, and THEN gives you a rough estimate of how much your item will be after coupons.  Then it gets even better, she has little boxes you can check and make your grocery list right from her page, and print out all the coupon link ups too!

My favorite and most beneficial store is Publix.  I know that many women I was talking to on FB only have Kroger and Walmart available for grocery shopping.  I have a friend who feels she does WAY better on deals at Kroger than at Publix, and I feel the opposite.  I really think it comes down to how you process the sales and the savings etc. . .

Strategy is important.  Here is what I do to maximize my savings.  I pull the sales each week for my grocery store of choice and make my list of things that are on sale that I need or will need.  I generally ONLY shop for the items that are on sale with minimal items that are not on sale on my list.  Once I have my list and all my coupons printed and cut, I go through and determine how many of each item I will be purchasing based on my coupon number.  I do my best to max out my purchase with the number of coupons I have each week.  I really like a stock pile and based on my experience if they are listed on the lists, and she has lots of coupons listed, and the end result is cheap...I'm going to buy as much as I can because if I have the coupons chances are those items aren't going to be going back on sale before those coupons run out. . .at least I haven't reached the level of mania to track that part. 

I have read lots of comments from people on couponing blogs about how they don't want to alter their buying habits just because it is on sale or not buy junk etc etc...I really haven't altered anything other than the money I spent.  Do I sometimes buy brands I wouldn't normally or items I wouldn't because it IS on sale and next to nothing yes...but if I'm not going to use it, I donate it.  For example, Publix had a sale this week on Totinos Pizzas, they ended up being like $.25 each...I try not to feed my family those kinds of things with frequency, but for that price, I bought like 20 to stock up in the freezer for a another time (like the next year)...yeah, sometimes you get funny looks with your buggy piled high with frozen pizzas, covering up all the healthy food beneath, and your 3 year old practicing his evil laugh at all the people you pass...but those funny looks turn into parking lot stalkers after they have seen your grocery bill.

.....to be continued......

I'm a terrible blogger...I know...I'm sorry...

I know, I know, my new years resolution is already sadly lagging behind. . .you know the REALLY sad thing?  I find myself THINKING in blog post form.  Hey, it's a step up from thinking in facebook status form, right?  The SADDEST thing?  I can't think of a single thing to say in this post, ha! 

So here are some updates...

• We have a new 55" TV...it's obscene and beautiful.  And I'm waiting with baited breath for my rebates to come back so I don't have to box it back up to send it back, sobbing.
• We moved our old flat tv to our bedroom: LOVE IT.  It's totally like being at the theater in my bed!
• Roman has fully discovered Batman and went to school today in his batman PJ top with a cape.  I couldn't help it.
• He still likes boodies.
• He's now 3, which just blows my mind and he FULLY knows how to push my buttons, though when told he's pushing my buttons he replies with, "Buttons, where are you buttons, Mommy?  Where do I push?"  Jasen laughs and I just roll my eyes, what else can I do?
• A psudo-Spring has arrived and they can't figure out the temperature in my building at work...so by noon I'm sweating like I'm in an Ashley Judd movie.
• I have discovered the dough cycle on my bread machine...can I say HEAVEN!?!?  I can make some GORGEOUS french bread and I can't seem to stop baking.  Seriously, I had to run out to buy more flour as a snow storm was moving in because I didn't want to be snowed in without having enough flour to bake...it's THAT bad.

That's about all for now.  I promise that my posts will be more frequent and more thoughtful.  I hope people are reading ;)

Happy Valentines Day!
XOXO

How do they do it?

How do these bloggers who religiously post do it and still have a functioning life?  I mean I have to admit, I'm somewhat constantly drafting a post in my head and am excited to have a few minutes to put something down, but between having a full time job that goes from nothing to crisis in a matter of minutes, to a full time mommy with a very intense 3 year old, a house, a husband, a side business, and don't forget the pleasure reading, blog surfing, and web shopping that one also must do...I mean how do you find time to post.

I've got to establish some good habits, as it is my goal to have a post every day ideally if not every other, that would only marginally be acceptable.  Right now, I just can't wait to get off work and go pick up my little man and snuggle and kiss and sniff him...yes, you read that right, sniff him.  I've had an obsession with smells since I was a child.  When I was little I had to have a blanket not for the feel and the security of the touch...but the smell.  The instant it stopped smelling like "home" which is the smell of Tide detergent and Bounce fabric softener, it had to be washed to refresh that smell.  Even now, if my husband comes home not smelling right I make him bathe and change!  He borrowed someone else's undershirt for work one day and not 1 minute after sitting next to him, I noticed the change in smell.  He even had the nerve to suggest that maybe we change it up, 'cause he liked the smell...I had a mini panic attack.

So even now, I ADORE smells...they are so sensual to me.  I love the way my husband smells, dirty or clean, like a man and his own smell on his skin. . .I LOVE how Roman smells too...this is kinda gross, but I even love how his slobber smells...he has a blankie, and it's for the tactile security, but I just love smelling that baby slobber on it.  And on my goodness, when he's been playing outside, the smell of boy and dirt and fresh air...there is NOTHING better!

It's the technicalities that really get ya....

Roman is obsessed with babies.  He is dying for a baby sister...and surprise, surprise, he wants to name her Spiderman.  I think it started when we were playing at our neighbor’s house and my friend, Tiffany, is expecting, but at the time wasn’t showing much.  Everyone had piled in her bed to wind down with a little Nick Jr and it was time for us to go.  He was crawling over her and I advised him to be careful because she had a baby in her belly.  He immediately wanted to investigate, and thus began our ever evolving conversation about babies and birds and bees.

I left well enough alone at the time and just told him that God made mommies where babies grow in our bellies...he seemed satisfied with that.  The next day he asked me if I had a baby in my belly, accompanied with lifting my shirt to investigate...No, there isn’t a baby in my belly...we went to lunch with Jasen and out of the blue he said “Mommy, Daddy, I want a baby sister.”  Um...Ok...Roman, you have my vote.  Jasen and I just looked at each other and giggled while Roman was oblivious to the shock factor of his statement.

One night this past week, I was letting Roman sleep with me...I was exhausted and it was easier than putting him in his own bed, yeah I know...I’m just making it harder for myself...anyway.  We were having some pillow talk as he was settling down for sleep and I was trying to read. 

“Mommy, I’m big aren’t I?”

to which I responded, “Yes you are!  You’re my big sweet boy!”. 

“Well, I want a baby in my belly.” 

“Roman, you what?” I asked

With complete seriousness, “I am big now and I want a baby in my belly.”  How was I to explain to my sweet little 3 year old boy that it just wasn’t going to happen??

“Well, Roman, honey, you’re a boy and boy’s can’t have babies in their bellies.  Only girls, who get married, can become mommies and have babies in their bellies.”  The look of shock and devastation that came over his face was just heart breaking. 

“But, Mommy, I WANT a baby in my belly, do YOU have a baby in YOUR belly?”  All of this is said with distress in his eyes and his voice.

“Well, when you’re married you get to help put the baby in your wife’s belly (yeah I know treading on thin ice here), and you get to feel the baby and see the baby...but it’s in HER belly, and you’ll be the daddy!  And I don’t have a baby in my belly right now, but one day soon, when I do, you will get to feel the baby and see it too.  We’ll have to talk to Daddy about getting a baby (heh heh heh).”

At this point I have tears in my eyes having to deliver this news to my little boy that he will never be a mommy. 

I must not have been convincing about personally not being with child, because he then proceeded to pull back the covers and lift my shirt to investigate my stomach for himself.  I repeated that there was no baby in there...He seemed somewhat satisfied.

He asked a couple more questions about babies, and then proclaimed, “Well, Mommy...I AM married”...laughing I said, “Oh, you are...to who?”  With the tone that indicated I totally didn’t see the big picture at all, “To youuuu, Mommy” Thinking he had just gotten around all the technicalities of being married, him not being able to have the baby, wanting a baby sister, I was the one who could have the baby...voila...we’re married, poof I now have a baby....DA TA, as he would say.  Once again, reality dealt a disappointing blow to such a little one... “Honey, we can’t be married, I’m your Mommy and I’m married to Daddy.”..... “Oh....”

He quieted down, though his wheels were still turning, and finally drifted off to sleep.  He never ceases to amaze me.  We still have to work Daddy into this conversation about the baby sister....

Why a Blog and Why Now?

Well...I’m really not much of a follower, in fact, I’m more of a rebeller against the popular, however....I have this book inside me.  Which now that it’s put out there like that it totally conjures images of this little tiny book embryo tucked away in my mental womb...I digress.  I really love to write and to read and have had a lot of interesting and dramatic experiences, as well as some that aren’t so much that are begging to be written about and not just shared in a snippet on face book or in conversation with a friend or even just horded away in my memory.  I also want to stretch my writers legs, and I know I’m not going to do it hand writing in a journal, nor am I going to keep some obscure file on my computer and journal away...I need some accountability and some sort of deadline...thus the blog. 

Not to mention, I’m interested to see if anyone will read what I have to say.  I mean...I religiously follow some blogs, but I mean...they are for crafting or for couponing (yeah we’ll talk about that later) and let’s face it...if they go off on some random diatribe that I don’t care about I navigate away.  So I’m kinda planning to see if I can get followers by word of mouth and other than one or two people...not say anything about my blog for a while...we’ll see how long that works.

So in setting some ground rules so you know what to expect, oh one single follower (thanks Tara), I LURVE stream of consciousness writing, which I affectionately call brain vomit.  You will be seeing lots of it here, though I promise to make it interesting and as non icky as possible.  My degree is in English but I can’t spell to save my life so I won’t judge you, you don’t judge me, but I will spell check as often as I remember!  Also this means that I’m VERY verbose, use big words, and have massive sentences with elaborate punctuation...it’s kinda like jewelry, sue me.  Sometimes my posts will be things that have happened in the past that I need to get on record and some things will be current. 

I’m really excited. . .Ultimately you are wondering what this will be about..... It’s about my journey...I started out running away from being a small town Southern girl to embracing it now that I’m older...I can’t wait to see how it turns out!

XOXO