The Red E

Things have been crazy in my life lately.  After my business trip and coming home with the flu and bronchitis...things went to crap.  It took FOREVER to feel better, my house fell apart, my husband had started a surprise garage redo while I was gone, I had a product launch at work (never ending nightmare), a Spring Market event at a local Y, a huge order from one of my shops, and then a staggering feeling of slowly sinking in quicksand while there was a flood about to drown me.  Do you ever feel that way?

I'm currently running on empty.  I've poured myself out and can't quite get refilled past the red E.  My soul, my body, my heart, my creativity....empty

This isn't a post to be poor little ole me, it's just frank honesty.  It's letting you women out there know...you're not alone.  You can have a husband and friends and even kids and still feel like you're going it alone.  You don't even have to have a husband and kids to feel like this.  I keep hanging on to Isaiah 40:30-31

Even youths shall faint and be weary,
   and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
   they shall walk and not faint.

I've resolved to take more time for myself...more like I've been assigned to...you know whatever it takes.  I deliberately laid down for a bit after work the other day before I went to get my son (granted I was mad and it wasn't as relaxing as I wanted, but I laid down for myself dang it), I went yard saleing in my subdivision with my friend Kelly and our kids for like 3 hrs on Saturday, I have been knitting on my shawl, I've been "forcing" my son to sleep in his bed (Lordy I just need some space). 

I have work to do on myself, and though it's my heart to pour myself out for others...there does come a point when you have nothing left to give when you don't take time for yourself.

So if you're feeling like me, your assignment, deliberately be kind to yourself.  And it's ok if your first thought was that you might lock yourself in a closet for 20 minutes and count that a kindness...that was my first thought too!  Women weren't meant to be completely self sustaining...every one grows weary....be kind to yourself, don't be harsh, and gather your strength from God, because He doesn't have a red E.