Roman is obsessed with babies. He is dying for a baby sister...and surprise, surprise, he wants to name her Spiderman. I think it started when we were playing at our neighbor’s house and my friend, Tiffany, is expecting, but at the time wasn’t showing much. Everyone had piled in her bed to wind down with a little Nick Jr and it was time for us to go. He was crawling over her and I advised him to be careful because she had a baby in her belly. He immediately wanted to investigate, and thus began our ever evolving conversation about babies and birds and bees.
I left well enough alone at the time and just told him that God made mommies where babies grow in our bellies...he seemed satisfied with that. The next day he asked me if I had a baby in my belly, accompanied with lifting my shirt to investigate...No, there isn’t a baby in my belly...we went to lunch with Jasen and out of the blue he said “Mommy, Daddy, I want a baby sister.” Um...Ok...Roman, you have my vote. Jasen and I just looked at each other and giggled while Roman was oblivious to the shock factor of his statement.
One night this past week, I was letting Roman sleep with me...I was exhausted and it was easier than putting him in his own bed, yeah I know...I’m just making it harder for myself...anyway. We were having some pillow talk as he was settling down for sleep and I was trying to read.
“Mommy, I’m big aren’t I?”
to which I responded, “Yes you are! You’re my big sweet boy!”.
“Well, I want a baby in my belly.”
“Roman, you what?” I asked
With complete seriousness, “I am big now and I want a baby in my belly.” How was I to explain to my sweet little 3 year old boy that it just wasn’t going to happen??
“Well, Roman, honey, you’re a boy and boy’s can’t have babies in their bellies. Only girls, who get married, can become mommies and have babies in their bellies.” The look of shock and devastation that came over his face was just heart breaking.
“But, Mommy, I WANT a baby in my belly, do YOU have a baby in YOUR belly?” All of this is said with distress in his eyes and his voice.
“Well, when you’re married you get to help put the baby in your wife’s belly (yeah I know treading on thin ice here), and you get to feel the baby and see the baby...but it’s in HER belly, and you’ll be the daddy! And I don’t have a baby in my belly right now, but one day soon, when I do, you will get to feel the baby and see it too. We’ll have to talk to Daddy about getting a baby (heh heh heh).”
At this point I have tears in my eyes having to deliver this news to my little boy that he will never be a mommy.
I must not have been convincing about personally not being with child, because he then proceeded to pull back the covers and lift my shirt to investigate my stomach for himself. I repeated that there was no baby in there...He seemed somewhat satisfied.
He asked a couple more questions about babies, and then proclaimed, “Well, Mommy...I AM married”...laughing I said, “Oh, you are...to who?” With the tone that indicated I totally didn’t see the big picture at all, “To youuuu, Mommy” Thinking he had just gotten around all the technicalities of being married, him not being able to have the baby, wanting a baby sister, I was the one who could have the baby...voila...we’re married, poof I now have a baby....DA TA, as he would say. Once again, reality dealt a disappointing blow to such a little one... “Honey, we can’t be married, I’m your Mommy and I’m married to Daddy.”..... “Oh....”
He quieted down, though his wheels were still turning, and finally drifted off to sleep. He never ceases to amaze me. We still have to work Daddy into this conversation about the baby sister....
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